SCARED SILLY at HALLOWEEN
If you want to be frighteningly funny this Halloween, here is a list of 100 MONSTER JOKES for you. And if you have a favorite Monster Joke you don’t see on my list, please send it to me. I’d love to share it!!!
- What do vampire parents read to their kids?
- What baseball position do young vampires like to be?
- What works out at the gym, has a long tail, and lives in a lake in Scotland?
(The Jock Ness Monster)
- What creature is part vampire and part werewolf?
- How would you create the world’s biggest stinker?
(Cross Bigfoot with a skunk)
- Why did the mummy lose track of time?
(He was all wrapped up in his work.)
7, Why are mummies such good workers?
(They like to get a job wrapped up ASAP.)
- How does a vampire know if he’s found the right mate?
(It’s love at first bite!)
- How does Dracula get brighter teeth?
(He bites a light bulb.)
- Why was the Invisible Man such a good guy?
(His conscience was always clear.)
- How did the mad scientist keep in shape?
(He became a body builder.)
- What does a zombie use after trimming his whiskers in the morning?
- Why did the monster collect clocks?
(He was trying to kill time.)
- What do near-sighted ghosts to need to wear to see better?
15, How do you know when a ghost is about to faint?
(He gets as pale as a sheet.)
- What do overweight ghosts need to do?
- What medicine does a vampire use when his throat hurts?
- Why did the dog want a costume?
(So he could dress up for Howl-oween)
- Which piece of clothing can become haunted?
(A pair of scaredy pants)
- What fruit do ghosts like best?
- What food is a ghost’s favorite?
- Other than a cemetery and a haunted house, where is a good place for a ghost to live?
(A ghost town)
- Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders?
(They have great spirit.)
- What day is a monster’s favorite?
- What road has the most ghosts haunting it?
(A dead end!)
- What position does a ghost play in soccer?
- What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
- Why did the vampire flunk art class?
(Because he could only draw blood!)
- What’s the problem with twin witches?
(You can’t tell which witch is which!)
- What do you do with a green monster?
(Wait until she’s ripe!)
- Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
(He felt rotten!)
- Why did the cyclops stop teaching?
(Because he only had one pupil!)
- Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
(Because there are so many plots there!)
- What’s the best way to talk to a monster?
- What’s big, scary, and has three wheels?
(A monster riding a tricycle!)
- How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
(With a pumpkin patch!)
- What do ghosts like for dessert?
- What do you do if you find Frankenstein in your bed?
(Find a different bed!)
- What baseball position does Frankenstein like to play?
- Because vampires don’t like to brush their teeth they have what?
- Why is Frankenstein known as a friendly fellow?
(He’s always ready to give a hand…or a foot…or…)
- What did the Cyclops teacher tell his student?
(Watch out! I’ve got my eye on you!)
- What’s ancient and itchy?
(A fleahistoric monster)
- What is a mummy’s favorite music?
- What happens to Frankenstein when he gets upset?
(He falls to pieces.)
- What do you call a frightful cow?
- What animal is a vampire’s favorite?
- Where do werewolves go who want to be in the movies?
- Where do zombies go to snorkel?
(The Dead Sea)
- What do you call a vampire who eats between meals?
- Which vampire is really good at math?
- What does a witch like to write with?
(A magic marker)
- What game do little monster like to play?
(Hide and shriek)
- Which Great Lake is the monsters’ favorite?
- Why are skeletons so lonely?
(They have noBODY.)
- Why do none of the monsters want Bigfoot’s job?
(He has such BIG shoes to fill!)
- Which monster likes African safaris?
(The big game haunter)
- What’s the difference between a monster and a chocolate chip cookie?
(It’s much harder to dip a monster in a glass of milk.)
- Which is a ghost’s favorite ride at an amusement park?
- What type of mistakes to ghosts make?
- How do you get a skeleton to laugh?
(Tickle its funny bone.)
- What happened when the mummy ate too much?
(He got a mummy ache!)
- How do you make a witch itch?
(Take away the “w”.)
- Why did the dog want a costume?
(So he could dress up for Howl-oween!)
- What subject do witches like best at school?
- Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
(You can see right through them.)
- What room do zombie houses never have?
(A living room)
- Why do many ghosts like books?
(They are ghostwriters.)
- Why do ghosts not take selfies?
(They’re not much to look at)
- What do monsters ride to school in?
- What’s a mummies favorite game?
(Name That Tomb)
- Why are there fences around cemeteries?
(People are just dying to get in!)
- Where do little ghosts go to school?
- Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
- Which story do all little witches like to hear at bedtime?
(Little Red Ghoully Hood and the Three Scares)
- Why wouldn’t the skeleton work?
(He was a lazy bones.)
- How does a monster score a football touchdown?
(He runs over the ghoul line.)
- What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
- Why doesn’t Dracula have any friend?
(He’s a pain in the neck.)
- What’s a monster’s favorite play?
(Romeo and Ghoulilet)
- What do witches put in their hair?
- Why couldn’t the ghost see her mom and dad?
(They were trans-parents!)
- Which monster is the best dancer?
(The Boogey Man)
- What’s worse than being a two-ton witch?
(Being her broom)
- Which circus act do vampires like best?
- How do you know if it’s a terrible mummy joke?
- Who did Frankenstein take to the party?
(His ghoul friend)
- When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
(When you’re a mouse)
- What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
- What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
- Why did the monster buy another sock?
(Because it grew another foot!)
- What kind of lock does Dracula have on his castle?
(A dead bolt)
- How do monsters stay cool?
(Turn on the scare conditioner)
- Why wasn’t there any food left after the party?
(Because everyone was a goblin)
- What type of art does Frankenstein create?
- What kind of horses do ghosts ride?
- What kind of monster has the best hearing?
- What do ghosts like to eat with a sandwich?
- What’s scary and goes to the second floor?
- What did Frankenstein say to his new girlfriend?
(I’ve been dying to meet you!!!)